This was painful to read...at least there was some humor as you can see this Cunningham character having fun with this while being politically correct.
But it also sends a dangerous message: let's frig up 2 million years of evolution and reject all the older white males in our society.
The hatred toward Baby Boomer males just drips from the story like hot wax.
The article is one more piece of evidence on why men date foreign women.But it is also a sign that the authors would have to logically disagree with the Tahirih Justice Center that people who date with an age difference are abusive and controlling people.
Thank God most American women are not necessarily following this new fashion. I just met a gorgeous 30 year old American lawyer in Switzerland and she was definitely inclined to like men in their 40s...although come to think of it, she did say she'd keep the option open for dating a 20 year old...
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins. These pioneering couples are just the most visible December-May hookups of older women dating younger men.
I wish the best for Demi but Ashton is best friends with her 18 and 20 year old daughters and he just turned 29. I give this situation another 2 years tops.
But I would not call Demi abusive and controlling for being in such a relationship, nor would I expect her to kill Ashton if she finds him no longer interested in 2 years.
Braving "robbing the cradle" jokes, almost one-third of women between ages 40 and 69 are dating younger men (defined as 10 or more years younger). According to a recent AARP poll, one-sixth of women in their 50s, in fact, prefer men in their 40s.
The word is Cougar. More power to them, but the big problem with US Society is the Bobcats.
A Bobcat is defined as a beautiful young woman who plans to date her own age into her thirties before starting to date younger men and then much younger men.
They are young Cougars who, at age 20, dream about being 40 with a 20 year old boyfriend.
This attitude is by the far the worst effect that feminism can create in a young woman. This directly affronts the interests of the older males and is a huge reason why US men are dating well-educated foreign women now.
I've dated Bobcats in California before. They will date older men but they are thinking that, when the man starts looking too old, they will leave him for a younger man.
The man knows there is no loyalty there.
So he starts looking at the foreign dating services while he is in the relationship with the young American Bobcat.
But what about the notion that men are "hard-wired" to seek a smooth-faced, curvy receptacle for reproduction and thus are drawn to younger women? "Humans are relatively flexible species," Michael R. Cunningham, Ph.D., a psychologist in the department of communications at the University of Louisville, tells WebMD. "Factors other than biological can be attractive. You can override a lot of biology in pursuit of other goals."
He is being diplomatic.
Interestingly, Cunningham did an unpublished study of 60 women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s, who were shown pictures of men aged to those decades. "The women," he says, "were more interested in men their own age or older."
Here is why we know he is being diplomatic. He knows that women are hard-wired to date older men just as men are hard-wired to date younger women.
But notice that we are not trying to pass any laws like IMBRA to stop women from dating younger men.
As for the men, he says: "I guess it could be nice not to hang around a ditz with no knowledge of music or something like that."
I know 20 year olds in Russia with more knowledge of classical musical than Susan Sarandon. My girlfriend is 25 and can tell me the name and composer of any musical piece we happen to hear anywhere.
Getting over the "shoulds"
"We have strong 'shoulds' on ways of partnering up," Kathryn Elliott, Ph.D., assistant professor of psychology at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, explains to WebMD. "We are victims of inner-critic constrictedness. We think we should only weigh 120. We should marry people within two years of our age. We pathologize anything that isn't within those shoulds."
One would assume that Dr. Elliott would advise a young woman to date an older male just as she would advise a young male to date an older woman.
Is this correct Dr. Elliott?
Susan Winter is co-author, with Felicia Brings, of "Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance". She is 48 and has been in a relationship with a man 20 years younger since 1992. Before that, she hooked up with two men 16 years younger and another 20 years younger.
Which means one was a 13 year old boy and the other two were 17 year old boys.
Myth No. 1 - "He will leave you for a younger woman." Winter says they did not find one younger man who did this, at least for a specific woman and because she was younger. "In some cases, the man wanted children," she says, "and the relationship fell apart because of that."
Which means he left her for a younger woman.
This is what one calls "dissembly" or "denial". What part of "the relationship fell apart because he wanted children" did the author of "Myth No. 1" not understand?
The best way to avoid this is for a woman to marry an older man in the first place.
That advice is not rocket science.
Myth No. 2 - "The woman was the seducer -- Mrs. Robinson." In all 200 cases, Winter says it was the man who initiated the contact.
She is not saying, however, who asked for the first date and then played the dominant role of calling the guy and bringing him into a comfortable friendship that he might not have pursued if she had been passive.
Myth No. 3 -"It will never last." Winter said some of the couples they met had been together 25 year or more. The average length of the relationships was 13 years.
I wish these people the best and I wish the relationships lasted on average more than 13 years.
Pretty promising material out there
Winter is upbeat about the younger generations. "The boomers are lost sheep," she says. "All they can do to get a woman is dangle their Porsche keys." As you peel back the decades, though, the men get "cooler," she says.
This is where the direct slander on older white males begins.
Guys in their 30s get her vote. "They grew up with AIDS, they are considerate.
I think what she means here is that she is part of liberal Hollywood society and most of the men and women her age and older are burnt out and practice unprotected sex, etc.
Winter is a healthy cougar and more power to her.
Hopefully she is not against men her age dating 20 year old Russian women.
They want a woman who knows who she is."
Yes. For me, that was "I am a 25 year old, non-feminist European woman who is fascinating to talk with, has read tons of classic literature, recognizes most classical music and cooks excellent gourmet meals for my boyfriend".
Still, even Winter admits, this may not be for everyone. One columnist suggested that these men hie themselves back to the reproductive pool or else birth rates would sag.
Like Duh! She sounds like fun. I would like to meet her.
"Saying this is just one more "should," Elliott says. "Why should a man worry about reproducing if he doesn't want to?"
The Catholic Church would have an issue with this, along with several major countries like Germany or Russia with declining birthrates and new financial incentives to birth more children.
Cunningham is slyer. "Men can reproduce until they die, almost," he says. "I can imagine an interesting older woman/younger man scenario where a man stays with an older woman until she dies, then takes a younger wife for the purpose of having children. This would be very adaptive, don't you think?"
Adaptive to what? Adapting to the needs of the woman who wrote the article?
Cunningham was joking and, bless his heart, clearly only wanted to make sure he got into the news.
But, because the article never once praises older men for dating younger women, and even makes a slur about "dangling Porsche keys", I have to assume she is antagonistic to the idea and only wants a world where women date younger men but not visa versa.
This kind of wishful thinking is largely what is behind IMBRA.
Senator Maria Cantwell, deep down inside, is hoping that IMBRA will force more men her age to stick around Seattle and date her.
Considering the vicious attacks this article made on Baby Boomer men (not once suggesting that it would be OK for these older men to also date younger women), I cannot be politically correct about the article.